Firing My Lazy Thermocouple!

Today, since I am totally almost 100% overwhelmed and simply tuckered out, I am going to write a humor post. I find that when I am fatigued almost to the point of paralysis and stressed out about as much as President-elect Obama will be on January 21st, humor does me some good. And I am guessing that it will do the same for you, or else you wouldn't be reading this post, unless you are a professional jester and confused this site for a website with job postings for court jesters, which it is not.

Anyway, to start things off, I would just like to say that Ebay is amazing. I might also add that it is totally unpredictable. Which is exactly why things like bent up, used up, worn out, cheap beer bottle caps, empty egg cartons and old Choose Your Own Adventure books sell; while totally practical and useful items such as vacuum sealers, sump pumps and winter coats don't.

In case there is anyone out there with old stuff in their house (which according to my calculations is everyone except one person, namely Bill Gates), my advice to you is to not get rid of it, but rather sell the items on Ebay for a price starting at $99. There is bound to be an idiot out there out of the millions frequenting Ebay every second who is willing to lay down the electronic money to save you from having to hire a trash pickup to get rid of the goods.

Which brings me abruptly to my next point: my water heater is on strike. Actually, it seems as if more specifically it is the thermocouple, but we all know that the water heater is much larger than the thermocouple and could kick its butt and set it back in place running the current necessary if it wanted. But my water heater is lazy and doesn't want to put up the fight, which in turn forces me to forcefully lay down the law and heartlessly replace the thermocouple, which has been a buddy of the water heater's for some 20 years or so. Cruel man that I am. Handy man that is.

And what should I do with the rebel thermocouple? Throw it away, you may emphatically say! But that would be wrong, because we all know that there are some poor people in America scrapping for food and wood and water heater thermocouples, regardless of if they actually work or not. And all these poor people somehow have Internet access and frequent Ebay every second of every day because they don't have to work because good Americans are paying their bills via income taxes. And thus I can get a pretty penny for my stubborn and incorrigible thermocouple.