Thursday, August 28

War Against the Underground Bees Part I


This is Part I of an entertaining, true-story, 3-part series about two young boys and their war against the underground bees. (And, yes, one of the boys was me.)
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“There is a colony of underground bees in my backyard and they must be killed!” This emphatic statement made by my neighbor, Corey, was the spark that ignited our imperialistic tendencies into action.

Being young boys in elementary school with an influence from G.I. Joe and He-man, we were full of an innate desire to kill creatures, destroy structures, and eradicate populations. But we weren’t heartless brutes who would murder without reason. This was going to be a preemptive strike upon the bee nation within our boundaries. After all, my sister was deathly allergic to the creatures. Within the chasm-like labyrinth of our young, warmongering minds we reasoned that this attack would actually be in the business of saving lives (i.e., my sister’s).

I was thoroughly convinced of the need for war in an instant. We began to stealthily advance into the region now taken by the bees behind the shed. It was as if adventure, with a whisper and a wave of her hand, was beckoning us to the boarding station of this odyssey.

The bees’ capital was impressive. These winged pollinators buzzed in and out of the only entrance into the city, swiftly scurrying to and fro, each carrying out his particular task. It was an amazing sight to behold. It reminded me of an orderly highway system stretching further than the eye could see on one side and then leading into a tunnel on the other. If we had not already declared war on these mindless insects we probably would have continued to stand there in awe, jaws dropped and all, of their grand civilization in busy and precise progress.

However, the fact that we were at war with these bees fanned the fierce flames in our minds all the more. How could we have allowed such a prolific empire to form right under our noses? It needed to be uprooted—and now. Like Alaric the Visogoth sacking the great metropolis of Rome, we had visions of desolating this powerful hymenoptera realm.

After briefly discussing our military strategies, we decided upon what we thought would easily and absolutely end their beedom. Corey found a heavy stone which was the perfect size to clog the hole and shoved it into the only inlet to the underground metropolis. The swift-paced traffic flow came to an abrupt halt as bewildered worker bees immediately began to gather around the stubborn boulder. My friend began to snicker. Like a shrewd businessman, he gleefully rubbed his hands together. The battle was over, it seemed, even before the winged warriors knew what was happening.

To Be Continued.....

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Jessty,
I buy local honey to avoid the imported Chinese honey from Walmart, so it amuses me that every ad on your page is now geared toward beekeeping rather than Chinese tourism.
Looking forward to reading part 2 and finding out how far you went to protect Neffy. :-)

Wingnut

Kelly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kelly said...

Waiting in anticipation for part 2...hurry up friday! Does it involve a rubberband gun?